Process

Process.

Well, that time of the year again. They call it "the end of the year", on some random calendar. If I lived in a jungle or a cave somewhere, I would not know of such a time. There would be no xmess, no winter solstice or other priest and priestress dubious marketing schemes. Yet, I don't live in a cave, so I watch and observe the circus. When it doesn't just seem like a very sad and ignorant joke, the lights decoration can be almost pretty to the eye. Yet, the absurdity of it all, keeps a strange juice somewhere, deep in the guts.


At such a time of the year, we are supposed to make great resolutions. We are supposed to want to be better, we quit smoking for a few hours, we go jogging between the fat meals, we go pray, really we pay our yearly tax, for a short time. Usually, in a few days or less, all goes back to the normal lies and bad habits which makes us confortably numb.
If some can keep positive resolutions, then, good for them. For the majority, well, enjoy this time of the Gregorian calendar.
On my side, I never make resolutions, simply because I make resolutions when the time is proper and ready. So, this year, I will do as usual: no resolution. I will remain just the same as my usual little self. Being the type of person that enjoys thinking, a little bit, sometimes too much, the studying matched with observing does bring it's fruits. It is enough to watch the natural process, and as with any process, things just happen when it's time. No need to force anything, it is enough to observe Nature and it's organic mechanics.
During this process, I will remain the same. If the type of plant I am grows it's fruits, leaves, and goes through the seasons, the plant simply remains the same. So, sorry to say, I will remain just the same, just a sun cycle older.

I will keep on studying and enjoying this amazing planet we live on. There is enough study materials to last a few life times, and the material keeps on being produced, so, I have no worry to run out of fine things to ponder. Thanks to those refined minds and those that dare to think a little bit or too much. A great thanks to those that express.

I will listen to music, lots of music, as I love music, as the highest expression of the human Art.

I will keep on checking myself, to find where I make mistakes, in order to correct my actions when nescessary. See, as any of us, I am full of faults, and I am not afraid to face them. It is not by denying our shortcomings that we overcome them. On the contrary, it is in fully accepting them, that we get to see them clearly. Only when we see clearly, can we get some type of understanding, only by understanding can we make new and better adapted choices. It is never in blaming others that we can make peace with the Self, it is in fully taking responsability for this alluring Self that we can grow. So, I look deeply in my mistakes, I understand, I make choices and I revise my actions, as simple as that.

See, my goal is not to become an all peace loving dull and naive, or a hypocrite type of a human being. I will live this for the buddhas and other breakdowns. Sometimes, we have to fight, we have to say NO or YES, we have to make choices. If the choice is peace, it is only with the Self that the peace is possible. My goal is to get along with Me, Myself and I, and that is fine enough with Me. Some like and respect that, others will not, and that is ok too.

I will keep on loving myself and embracing my shortcomings, my stubborness, my dislike of dishonesty (with self or others), my lack of interest for what does not interest me. I will keep on enjoying the strong, the brave and the courageous, those that dare facing the mudd out of which we sometimes rise. Respect to those that dare standing on their own 2 feet, even if this means standing alone. In this seemingly aloneness, there are many who share the same type of feelings towards this absurd mystery we call Life, for it is only when we are truly Alone that we can truly meet Others. I will keep on being thankfull for being able to participate in this absurd perhaps divine mystery.
I will keep on enjoying nature, the animals and the plants and those that have found joy in the simple things that this Life has to offer. I will still have no time for the cities and other noise and fake glitter polluted spaces.
I will keep on painting, writing, walking, exploring and enjoying the world.
I will keep my respect to those that know the simple words: 'I don't know" when they don't know something.

All in all, I had a great year, of renewal and growing my branches in the wind. Hope you had a good year as well.
For those that celebrate, whatever they celebrate, I will just say : enjoy. Be true to yourself, and keep on trucking :)